Golfderdash: (n) An artful pastime that combines elements of the classic (mildly elitist, impossible to master) board game of Balderdash with the classic (mildly elitist, impossible to master) sporting activity of Golf.
The game of Golfderdash was created 18 minutes before this blog was posted, on the premise that one’s successful participation in the game of Golf (+ Balderdash) is dependent upon one’s ability to feign knowledge of obscure terminology (basically, both games involve lots of BS’ing).Please participate in the trial run of Golfderdash by posting your best answer to the following golf-related questions at the end of this blog.
1: What is an ‘Elephant Burial Ground’?
a. An ancient site of ritual sacrifice, several of which have are embedded beneath the fairways of golf courses near Durban, South Africa.
b. A large, mysterious mound encountered by golfers—usually on the green of a course—where good scores tend to ‘die’.
c. A sacred place where dead elephants are buried.
d. A Las Vegas Casino, known for its extensive range of golf-themed machines, in which gamblers ‘bury’ large quantities of money.
Go ahead, take a guess! Post below—all winners get virtual ‘high fives’. How about it?
2: What is a ‘Yank’?
Nothing. I’m leaving this one open-ended. Hit me with your best shot, below.
3: Can you eat a ‘Texas Wedge’?
Folks, there’s more where that came from…
So I’ll admit it—I’m not much of a golfer. However, as a young girl I did own a fluorescent pink golf bag and a putter; I used to tag along to the 9 hole practice course with my dad and brother, who, of course, always inverted the scoring system to cater to my 28 put sinks.
Recently, though, I’ve been thinking—I would like to take up this beloved pastime as a serious adult…mainly so I can meet some cute guys I mean become a well-rounded athlete/person.Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
How to become a golfer:
Step 1 – Learn lingo (check.)
Step 2 – Take a bunch of lessons (er…)
Step 3 – Exercise newfound skills on courses in exotic locales (yes, please!)
Step 4 – Become well-rounded athlete/person (on my way.)Let’s skip straight to the most crucial step, shall we?
Putting through paradise: Hot golfing destinations ’08…
1. Fuerteventura, Gran Canaria:
Sun, sand, turquoise blue…oh, and of course an enormous expanse of green for your golfing pleasure!The Fuerteventura Golf Club contains over 1,500,000 square meters of open playing space—including a state-of-the-art driving range, putting green and chipping green—making it the largest green area of the Canary Island of Fuerteventura.
Tee off in paradise as you watch the sunrise over the Atlantic; drive, chip, and put your way to the 18th green, as you admire the sparkling lakes, lush palm trees and glorious scenery; relax into the late afternoon on a peaceful catamaran cruise.Venture beyond the fairways to experience a huge range of sightseeing activities, including deep sea fishing trips, scenic bike safaris, volcano excursions, and family cruises.
2. Akaroa, New Zealand.
Mix a bit of culture—and breathtaking South Island scenery—into your golfing adventure by embarking on a trip to the historic French whaling village of Akaroa. The adjacent 18 hole Akaroa golf course (par: 67M, 70W), overlooking the Akaroa Harbor, is considered one of the most picturesque courses in Canterbury.
This sightseeing tour of Akaroa includes hotel pick up and drop off, lunch, a visit to a local cheese factory (?), and, of course, a round of golf!
End your trip with a splash by taking swim with rare dolphins in AkaroaHarbor.
3. Selborne Estate, South Africa
Live in luxury at the exclusive Selborne Hotel, Spa and Golf Estate, as you soak in the subtropical warmth of the Indian Ocean, just 30 miles south of Durban.Their 18-hole golf course has been described by some as one of the finest in South Africa, where “wild coastal forest frames a superbly manicured course…where the only disturbance may be one of nature’s creatures” (- an elephant ghost?)
Suitable for professionals and amateurs alike, Selborne even has its own resident PGA instructor and indoor golf academy.
Should you desire to venture beyond the comforts of the estate, you may opt for a bit of local culture at the Phezulu Village or in the city of Durban.
Get your golf on.
I hope that I’ve inspired you to plan en exotic golfing adventure.
In the mean time, let’s keep the Golfderdash tradition going strong. I await your answers.