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London Tourists: Mind your Beckham Bones
About six weeks ago, on the way home from my office in London, I realized that I could no longer walk; that is, I shifted my weight from the side of my right foot (which, I suddenly/finally acknowledged, had been unnaturally stabilizing my gait for two weeks) and began to consciously move forward as human beings naturally should: by actually pressing the ball of my foot into the ground. Heel-toe, heel-toe, heel-ouch! Ouch! Ouch! (Of course, when something hurts, you want to do it over and over…) OUCH. Limp. GP. A&E…Stress fracture.”A fracture to my right second metatarsel,” I now casually spout off to any curious passerby who (skeptically) observes me hobbling on crutches without a plaster/cast…or any visible sign of injury. For I have discovered that the word ‘metatarsel’ actually triggers a psychological mechanism in (most) members of the British public, whereupon glamourous images of David Beckham limping across the football field—sweat dripping from his brow as he winces in pain over his Achilles toe—flash across their mental television screens. And suddenly, I become cool. I have a seat on the tube, a hand with my handbag, a pint on my table…Really.At least 1/3 of the ‘Second metatarsel bone’ Wikipedia page is devoted to Beckham’s fatal fall in the 2002 Champions League match + subsequent media sensationalism. The ‘Beckham Bone’, we now call it. Way to pave your eternal legacy, Big D. Your heyday may have passed, but you will certainly have at least a photo caption in your great, great grandkid’s anatomy textbook (…Wikibook?). May the Beckham Bone live on…Potential for increased sex appeal aside, having a stress fracture—albeit a small chink off the BB—actually sucks, and big time. Especially in a big, expensive city like London. Take my advice: if that dull-yet-concentrated pain in your foot seems to be worsening by the day, bin the fancy footwear and shuffle your trainers over to the GP (American translation: trash your stilettos and sport those sneakers to the doctor’s office…).Tourists Beware.The doc at the A&E’s first question: how long had I been ‘touring’ Europe? Ignoring his brash assumption that I was not, in fact, a well-adjusted Londoner (hmph!), I listened to what he had to say about tourists. His insights were rather interesting; for apparently, tons of sightseers (usually Americans) visit UK hospitals each summer, reporting similar such pains in their feet. Stress fractures are, in fact, common injuries among travelers that depart sedentary lifestyles to embark on a series of extended walking tours through Europe. And to the utter dismay of the high-energy, culture-hungry tourist, the only treatment for a stress fracture is to sit still.”You must rest your foot for six to eight weeks.”Say wha…?Yes, one week of trapseing around Europe in bad footwear can (especially in the case of women with family histories of Osteoperosis) can lead to two months of lockdown.(FYI, metatarsel stress fractures are also common in army recruits, ballet dancers, and, of course, athletes. In my particular case, the initial cause of the stress fracture was likely my participation in a weekly, high-impact dance class; walking around London in poor footwear certainly exacerbated the problem, though. It’s all about the footwear!)Good-bye, Big Ben…Hello, Beckham Bone.Stress fractures seem like minor injuries but can actually become chronic problems if not properly treated: I’ve learned this the hard way, having prolonged the healing process by ignoring the doctor’s orders to sit still. But the longer you don’t sit, the longer you won’t play. So, “let pain be your guide”—and not the public eye—unless, of course, you can squeeze a few more pints out of the bartender with your polished Beckham banter…
